Samantha gives advice

Samantha Jones, what would we be do without your advice? 

Sweetheart, you can't go listening to every fucking little voice that runs through your head. You'll go nuts

I've never been friends with men. Women are for friendships, men are for fucking

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me

You're a woman, and men don't like women to be human. We aren't supposed to fart, douche, use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn't.

Charlotte - "We have a tea bag situation"

Samantha - "Oh I understand.. Just breathe through your nose"

Samantha- "When you're sucking his balls? "

As far as I am concerned the test of a good relationship is -are you like this

or like this